Many years ago when I was in either first or second grade, we had a young teacher joined our school. He was very pleasant and friendly to us, and we all liked to surround his desk during recess just to chat and laugh with him. He would let us touch the paper, pens on his desk without yelling at us, and he always had a smile on his face.
For some unknown reason to me at the time, he was particularly close to me. While other kids got to stand around his desk, I was the one he would pick up and sat upon his lap most of the time. He would ask me questions about my family and parents, and squeeze my calves when it was time for me to get up and go back to my desk. While I was basking in this special attention, I didn’t realize I was also the envy (and resentment) of other kids.
I vaguely remember fragments of conversation between my mother and him. I think my mother relayed part of it to me later. He was from a town far away from ours, and couldn’t go home as often as he liked. I reminded him his kid sister at home, so he took a special liking in me. It was probably his first teaching job, and first time being away from home. He didn’t stay with us too long and soon he left the school.
We had a different, older, and much colder teacher as his replacement. The first day he took over, some of the kids complained to him how I was the favorite kid and how I always got special treatments (although I really don’t remember what they were). I do remember, however, the new teacher looked at me and spoke coldly to me, “It’s not going to be that comfortable for you from now on.” I felt very sad and humiliated while other kids snickered at this comment.
Now that I think back, the first teacher probably left due to the complaints of parents. The thought never crossed my mind because he never did anything inappropriate to me or other kids as far as I could tell. I stopped myself from asking my mother, “Did you have anything to do with the departure of that teacher?” As it turned out, he was the only male figure who showed me some kindness and affection while growing up. For that I am forever grateful; and for that, I don’t want this nice memory tarnished by the tainted eyes of other grown ups. I sincerely hope wherever he is and whatever he's doing, he has all the happiness surround him.
As for the second teacher, I do have a question for him, “Being an elementary school teach, why would you think it was a good idea to be cruel to a little kid who did nothing to offend you?”
I agree, the replacement teacher should not have listened to other children and automatically made his first impression of you the way he did.
ReplyDeleteAlso, even though it was "innocent" between you and the first teacher because you reminded him of his little sister, I believe you were correct and that he was asked to leave. In today's times, if a male teacher had a female student his lap and squeezed her calf, it would be construed as him taking advantage of you sexually.
Although it really was innocent, you have to envision what people on the outside saw. They didn't want to believe it was innocent and probably that is why he left.
Sorry about that but at the same time I am glad you had such a wonderful experience with a teacher.
Both my parents were teachers. :-)
ana - it was really sad how it was perceived by others. i have fond memories about this teacher that i will never forget.
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