Thursday, August 6, 2009

Scary Moment

I heard a scary story the other day at a pot-luck lunch at work. Several consultants joined us unexpectedly, and, while we were eating and making small talks (one of the uncomfortable things you do when you have to eat with people you are not necessarily that familiar with), one of the consultants started talking about how she met her fiancé. Turns out she met him through online dating.

What’s remarkable about it is while most people try to hide the fact that they are doing this (the thought of ‘loser’ still prevails when it comes to online dating, and she said it herself that she would never have done it if not encouraged by her friend) she had no problem sharing this with people she mostly had not met before that day. More remarkably, she’s Asian. I couldn’t help but noticing the difference between Asian-born Asians and American-born Asians, and I must say the openness about one’s personal live was refreshing to me.

I was raised to hide my emotions, thoughts and personal affairs to myself since that was the "proper” behavior. Sometimes I just want to scream, “What’s the freaking big deal?!” I think it just shows how judgmental and oppressive the society was. Her openness, however, was not the scary part.

What’s scary is after she submitted her profile, which consisted of 500 or so questions (enough to make me stop before I start) she received a list of names of good matches, and her ex-husband was one of them! So what it did to me was (others were laughing because it was kind of funny) confirming my reasoning of not dating.

Some people are willing to kiss all the toads before they find a prince. I think the odds are really crap shoot no matter how scientifically the process is designed. You could end up with a guy for 10 years and supposedly a perfect match for you, and still end up divorced and starting anew. Too much work for not that rewarding of an endeavour to me. At least that's how I feel at this moment.


  1. well that brought back some memories, hell i was so shy i would done pert neer anthin to get a date sides ask. funny you gotta ask or be set up with that there toad

  2. yeah i know what you mean. it's hard to meet people, let along the right one.

  3. Don't worry Sarah, it is not just an Asian thing. They did that here in the U.S. way back when God was still allowed in school.

    My family is Southern Baptist and growing up we were not allowed to do anything. However, I was a rebellious teenager and tried to get away with some stuff.

    I agree with you on the online dating thing. I would never do it. Also, that girls ex may have showed up on her profile because he used to be married to her and choose similar answers as she did. He may have done it on purpose. Or, it could have just been a coincidence.



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