Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Visit - Part 3

We set out to get her missing papers needed for this year’s tax return straighten out by paying a visit to the local social services. I suspect she had received, and misplaced, these papers, but I wasn’t going to argue with her. It would be a lot easier to request duplicates. I got the directions from the internet because she had no clue where it was. We got there and she said she had been there before to get her passport. I said why didn’t you tell me this, she said she didn’t know it was a government’s building.…

We put in the request and went home, but not before making a detour to the Red Cross to rent a walker--she was not supposed to use a cane according to the health consultant. They were closed. Upon finding out they only worked half a day each day, I wondered out loud if I should get a job there.

We tried again to look for the missing 2008 tax returns. She said she put them away with specific care. I think it must be the Murphy’s law. She found a stack of letters from me, dating from my school years. I read in amazement how detailed I wrote her about my life, most of them I have forgotten or would rather forget. It appeared that I have always been a wordy kid on paper. Is that why I have a blog?

There was one in which I complained about how she hurt my feelings with her careless and constant criticism. This was last year when I figured I was finally old enough to tell her how I felt. I regretted sending it right afterwards. Here came the chance for redemption--I threw it away while she wasn‘t looking.

I had just thrown her letters to me out while getting the room ready for her. In my defense, her letters were all very short and non emotional. I saw how she didn’t express positive feelings, verbally or otherwise, was inline with her upbringing. Sometimes I wished she had a different upbringing.

I spotted a big envelop with “08 tax” on it and opened it. Viola! Instead of the regular envelop she has been using for tax papers, she used a different one for this particular year for no particular reason. Mystery solved. I called the health consultant and gave her the information.

The meals delivery services called me back. I set her up for lunch delivery starting next Monday. I think I will get the phone shopping service for her as well. She will get a phone call once a week to get her grocery list, and someone will buy and deliver the grocery to her.

It was a fruitful day. Now we need to make a decision on the facility. Not surprisingly, she’s having second thought.

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(I'm visiting my mom to take care of things needed at this time. As a result I have limited time to read or comment on my beloved blogs. All should resume to normal in another week.)


  1. I'm also going through a bunch of stuff with both my parents... thanks so much for the writing and sharing!! Always love your writing, no matter the subject. *HUGS*

  2. Having been there, I can tell you that the ride stays rocky. It's all about coping. I hope you have some support. If you don't, you need to enlist some help. When someone you know offers help, take it.

  3. I am glad you are taking care of your mom. You need to. I know you hate her criticism but, she is your mom. You need to realize that is says something about her that she has your letters after all these years. She really loves you with all her heart but, shows you the only way she knows how. I bet she was raised this way.

    I wish she could live with you so you could watch out for her more but, I am glad you are doing what you can.

    Remember all the things you do not like that your mother does and strive to not do these things to your own children. But above all remember to love them. Your mother loves you in her own way and, I bet she is really glad you are there with her now. She may not express it but I bet she is.

    Have a good visit. Try not to let the "little things" bother you. Remember, love is the most important of all.

  4. Oh Sarah ~ I have walked this way before. I understand so much of what you are going through. You are such a good daughter. Don't ever forget that. I am here for you, friend.

  5. sharing!! Always love your writing, no matter the subject.
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